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It is an opportunity to finally do things differently. I can describe something vanilla: This one where a busty blonde gets banged by her personal trainer. The possibility of revealing the actual truth not only makes me nervous, but also physically sick. ” He turns over on his side and props his head up on his left hand. “Seems like a weird question.” I tuck the sheet into my armpits and scoot my body a little to the left so we’re no longer touching.Or perhaps something a little more racy: These two hot teens swap their math teacher’s cum after he made them stay late in the classroom. I feel a constriction in the back of my throat, a flutter in my belly, a tremble in my extremities. ” I reach for the sheet, damp with sweat, a tangle of 300-thread-count cotton across our limbs, and yank it up to cover my breasts. The tone of my voice has become defensive and he can tell. He’s trying to be considerate since we just had sex while staring at the laptop screen after searching terms of his choosing: Latina, real tits, blow job, threesome.The past couple of months has allowed us to cover most of the basics — what ended each of our most recent relationships, what our parents are like, what we hope to do with our lives in the next few years — but there’s still a longing for something deeper, and I can’t think of anything deeper than knowing a person’s favorite porn scene. For one scene to stand out amongst the rest, when so many others are available, there has to be something below the surface. What keeps a person returning in the deep, dark recesses of a lonely night?
He is still here beside me, propped up on his left hand, naked and vulnerable, and so am I.
And that I believed, for a really long time, that my addiction made me a broken person, a disgusting person, a person unworthy of love.
I told him these things from the start because I met him at a time in my life where I was ready and open for change.
I made a promise to my husband and to myself, long before we were even wed, to be austerely honest.
He knows I’ve been a compulsive masturbator since I was twelve years old.
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He knows about my extensive fluency in the hardcore categories of various porn sites.